Badass Catholic Ninja/Rockstar Evangelist Needed (Pope Job Description: Startup Edition)

Who are we?

We are an established, well-funded religious organization into everything. We’re looking for a very talented ninja/rockstar evangelist to help us snag more users and integrate them with our worldwide network. Ideally, we’re looking for someone with long term availability. We’re not building a simple website here, we need someone with a deep understanding of religion and how God makes everything work together. This is big.

Ideal Candidate

  • You live in Vatican City.
  • You gag when you see ugly/unreadable verse.
  • You’ve built some small congregations on your own (yes, we’d love to see them)
  • You are a motivated thinker who is not afraid to ask: WTF? Why is this so? How does this really work?
  • You have a curious mind and are always hungry to learn more about design, culture, music, life, etc.
  • You have the self-confidence to know and admit that your idea may not always be the right one.
  • You are constantly coming up with old ideas… and the first thing you do is check to see if the domain name you want is available.


  • Make some noise. Get Users.
  • Develop partnerships and business relationships.
  • Help in funding.
  • Being awesomely creative to create new channels for marketing.
  • Help refine business/revenue model.
  • Lots of travel. You get your own sweet ride.
  • You’re used to being in the spotlight.

Here’s a few bullet-points that should be on your resume:


  • You’re in love with social media and use it everyday.
  • You’re well versed with how religions work and what it takes for one to succeed.
  • You’ve done Biz Dev and Marketing in your life and have been bad ass at it.
  • You’ve worked with/in online tech in some way.
  • You’re a big believer in “Christ On Nails”


  • We’re looking for someone who loves to make noise.
  • Marketing excites you.
  • You love writing like no other.
  • You’re analytical but also deeply spiritual – You make decisions based on a combination of numbers and gut.
  • You’re dedicated and passionate about your work.
  • Strong English skills (both written and oral)
  • You have strong Latin skills (both written and oral) – be ready to do a whiteboard with us during the interview to prove it.


  • Competitive base salary, commensurate with experience.
  • Quarterly profit-sharing bonus plan based on individual and company performance.
  • 4 weeks paid time off per year, in addition to 10 annual company holidays.
  • 401k plan with company matching funds.
  • Health, dental and eye care insurance plans partially paid for by company.
  • Company-paid life, short-term and long-term disability insurance.

Still with us? Then you better apply.


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